I moved to Portland about 3 months ago and the one of the things I was looking forward to was making friends. I’ve never lived in a city this large before and with all the online apps that a lot of people are on now a days, I figured it would be pretty easy. I’ve had about 10 dates/meet-ups since I moved to Portland, and out of those 10, I haven’t been able to call any of those guys a friend at this point. I just don’t get it. This is what happens…
I meet guys online, such as Tinder, Grindr, OkCupid, or other “social” apps/websites. We talk for a little bit and then we decide to meet in person. I used to have an issue with exchanging numbers so early on in a conversation, but now it seems as though numbers are exchanged after chatting for a few minutes. I figure if a guy is willing to exchange numbers with you that he is interested in connecting with you. At least that is what I thought.
There are several dates/meet-ups I’ve had with guys that I thought went quite well. I’ve spent anywhere between an hour and a half to 6 hours with a guy on the first date/meet-up. Generally, I tended to think that the longer I would spend with a guy on the first date/meet-up means that it is more promising to develop into a friendship or something more. There doesn’t seem to be a correlation between how much time I spend with a guy the first time and friendships. I spent 6 hours with a guy I thought was cute and thought that we clicked. His name was Scott, he was 34 years old. We went to a couple of bars and talked for most of the night, and it was fun. I had talked to him previously for a little bit and it seemed as though we would click when we met. I don’t think I said anything that would have scared him off, but there seems to be a trend where I get my hopes up for guys I meet and then they just don’t respond after you meet them, or slowly lose interest. Why?! Why are they being so choosey? How long are you supposed to wait to hear back from a guy you message/text?
I don’t know why guys are quick to write you off, I really don’t. The only thing I can think of is that they are not attracted to you if they don’t continue to connect with you. This makes it difficult if you like them, but they do not feel the same way about you. And as far as not responding to texts, what the hell? Why can’t a guy just be honest with me and just tell me that he didn’t think we clicked and that he is going to move on? It would be a little painful, but it would make things so much easier instead of me debating if I should text them again or if there is still a chance with them. It’s getting so old to just have guys drop out of contact with me after I meet them. How am I supposed to make any fiends if no one is willing to give me a chance?
I think I can safely say that if you text someone, they will read that text within a day, almost guaranteed. People are glued to their phones. It’s like an addictive drug. They have to have their phone in situations where they need to fill “quiet” space or awkward moments. I give guys about a week to respond to me before I write them off. That should give them PLENTY of time. That is being very patient too, as most of the time my real friends respond within a day or two. Does this seem like a reasonable amount of time to allow them to respond? There are no ‘guidelines’ on how this shit works. I’ve been blown off a few times and most of the meet-ups have led no where and I’m getting pretty tired of it. Am I the only one who is trying to reach out, but constantly ending up back at the place I started ?
Naturalist Kamera | 